Monday, May 2, 2011

Where does the time go!!

I always say I am going to keep this up but just where does the time go!! :(
It is just flying by way too fast, I wish I could pause all of the good and mazing times with the girls and their little selves and keep them so young and small forever! The Baby is going to be 18 months this month and Sissy girl will be 3 in 4 months! Crazy, crazy! We will have the girls a year in July, I just cannot believe how so fast this has gone by!
Baby girl is crazy, she is smart as a whip and runs everywhere, talks and knows way too much for her little self! She still only has four teeth but is getting some monsters let me tell you, oh they are a comin! Poor baby! She is still so small but thankfully growing for sure. She is still sassy as heck and tries to rule the house but hey now only one person can do that! ;) We just love her so and she loves us so, she has become quite the daddies girl too, it is so great!
Sissy is doing awesome, she just improves all of the time, she has come so very far from last July, such a different child! She is going to start school this summer, 2 days a week for about 4-5 hours while I take Baby to her visits! She is potty trained so she can do this and I could not be more proud of her, she will do so well and benefit so much! She will go to  a special class in the Fall 2 days a week for speech and some early intervention, then her preschool two days a week as well, this is just going to give her all that more of a boost, it's just exciting and so great! We have had such an amazing support system for her, it's made an awesome difference in her life! She is such a miracle and so beautiful and she is almost ours forever! There is a shower in the works for Sissy girl and I, and I am so humbled that a very close friend and some family want to do this and honor us! I have always longed for these times and stages in my life and even in this situation it is still happening, it's beautiful!
We are finally in the adoption process after 9 months, finally! It will be about 6 months till we finalize, the birth's mothers rights will be taken away in Aug and they will no longer see her. We are in the final stretch here with Sis, it is so happening and it is so hard to believe but just the best feeling ever! We should finalize this adoption in October or November, so it will happen this year, we were so scared it would not! The girls four year old Sis is getting adopted in June and we are so excited for that, it's just a miracle how we all got about this and came together, God, oh he knew what he was doing here! I thank him everyday for our family and all it is!
I get o have my first Mothers Day this week, not only so many firsts with the girls and our little fam but this is such an honor! I prayed to be a Mommy for so long and it's here, it is actually happening, I get to be one and to two amazing little girls, they have just changed my life forever and make me so happy! I absolutely love being a Mom, it is the role I always knew I would, it just completes me! :))

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Update since Friday

March 18th, today we had no visit with birth Mom again and due to this happening so many times they removed her from the schedule, yay!! We made it 8 months through seeing her and she actually just gave up, she just quit coming, wow! I am so happy about this and I really feel she is not going to come anymore, she knows what is happening and knows she is done and has no more chances. I think knowing her, she would rather not come then face the pain again of saying goodbye like she did with the older one! She still has the option of seeing the girls she can still get her visits back but I don't think she will. They are reducing her visits down to once a month at this next court hearing and she will have 120 days of that so lets pray she doesn't decide to pop back up. 120 days after court and we should be free and done forever! Sissy's assessment should be starting very soon, this is the adoption process finally, finally! I am sure hoping by the end of this year it is final, it takes about 6 months total to finalize! Crossing our fingers!
On this note too we had been given the go ahead on telling her her new name, so very exciting to be able to do this. We have been calling her Sissy from the start and now she knows herself as that and it is a great way to transition her into her new name. I do not want to put it for safety purposes on my blog but she loves it and says it so cute, we still call her Sissy all of the time but are moving into slowly her new beautiful name! I was so excited to giver her new name this is so special for us it is really feeling like it's real now, she will be our first daughter and ours forever, it is so amazing! We gave her a name that fits her and a middle name that is a family name and then her taking our last name it is just so special, the future is laying out in front of us now and it is the best feeling.
Fri's visit with birth Dad was ok, he is just getting more and more strange, he keeps calling our Social worker and telling her that he has all these makeup visits that he does not have at all, he is just making up dates! Baby girl totally cried today and did not want to go to the supervising gal or him at all, I just hate it, it breaks my heart! Our Social Worker came over during his visit too that day and sat with me and we talked about stuff then she made sure we got to the car ok with out any issues from him, although it was weird because he called her right away in her office when she got back up to it! Things are fishy with him and we do not trust anything right now!
On Sat it was my birthday, the first birthday with our girls! I can only say it was about the best I felt in so long. Going through four years of pain and depression of not being able to have a baby made many holidays and birthdays hard to get through. I can't tell you how amazing it felt to wake up on the morning of my birthday and have a sweet little girl look at me and say "Happy Birthday Mommy" words I will never forget! Baby girl cuddled with me in bed and gave me hugs and kisses, it was so great. My husband took the girls to get balloons and a card from him and them and made it look like they wrote in it is was so cute, he made my day so great too and really helped with the girls. The girls loved celebrating the birthday as all birthdays they do, it was really fun! I felt so loved and I feel so blessed to have been given these two beautiful gifts on this day!
Sunday night we told Sissy her new name it was very special we told her at dinner and told her she was a very special girl and gets a very special new name, she has been saying it here and there if we ask her and it is adorable but she always puts Sissy in front of it, too funny! Glad the transition is working so well, we are very happy for that.
Monday we had counseling and we were on high from telling Sis and being able to tell her finally of her new name and no more visits with birth Mom either and well our high was shot down. I won't go into major details on this but sometimes I guess others have very different opinions on things like changing names. Some feel with this type of adoption you shouldn't or it may do more harm but we feel for safety and what and how she got her name it was for the best and we will be changing the baby's name as well for sure! With birth dad to baby being so crazy it is only the best for all of us to make sure that both girls are never found. They will get new SSN and entire new names too, so that is the best for everyone and the safest! We feel very good about this and know we are doing the right thing here, i feel bad that the therapist may not feel the same but we have others guiding us as well in counseling too and going through this journey that think it is the best too. This therapist is from the county and although we do really like her she has her side to things and her views sometimes. It was just a bummer to not get to tell her what a positive thing it has been and how Sissy has reacted to it too in such a good way, hopefully she will come around!
Today the Teacher, Vision teacher and Nurse came out through KCKids and the nurse had not seen Sissy since last year very shortly after we got the girls, she could not believe her eyes! She said she is like a different kiddo. She tested her eyes, her hearing, measured her and weighed her. She has lost weight, grown so much taller, she said she is 90% of her growth charts, she is going to be very tall. Her hearing was fine and her vision has gotten so much better! She said she looks awesome and we should be so proud and of course that we are everyday!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Visit Day

Today birth Mom did not show again, thank you very much I say to that! She has one more day to do this and she gets taken off of her two days a week schedule we have had the last 8 months, which is way to long! Her visits were supposed to be reduced a long time ago! So lets pray she does not show up on Friday.
The Baby had to go see her birth father and he is always such a weirdo, sorry to call him that but he is. He pretended not to see me as we walked in today and looked up and then went back to playing on his phone, then when the supervisor called him and he didn't hear him I said his name and he was like oh hey! So strange he is! She does not even say hi to him or smile at him, I took her in the room set her down and she just wanted to play, she doesn't go there to see him! She didn't want to say goodbye to him again but said it to the supervisor of course, haha, I love it!
But I am on alert and going to watch him to see what he does now because today he fallowed us and I was not ok with it. I don't know if he was actually fallowing us to spy or see where I park or what, maybe he was going to do something else who knows but it was fishy and he was behind us and I didn't like it as I walked back to the car! I even faked to go to another vehicle till he was out of sight. This man has a scary background and I am not going to put anything past him! I can get an escort by security and may just have to if I get too worried specially when this case gets a little bad for him which will be coming up here soon! :(

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Prayers Being Answered???

Our County Social Worker and FFA Worker came out today and we had our monthly chat like we usually do and today we got some great news, I mean so awesome to hear!
What I wrote in my last blog about our prayers and what we have wanted all along here for Baby girl could serious actually happen now our hopes are really high again!
Ever since her birth father got out of jail and was able to get visits with her we have questioned why does this man get to see her, specially learning so much of his background and very scary past, why we ask!! That why does he even get to fight to get her too, just seems so awful to us and so scary for her.
Well, we may have our fears and prayers answered now, he may not be getting FR(Family reunification) services! Something we thought for sure they would have to give to him but now we may have our miracle and they may again not have to again! I will never forget the day we found out he would not get services and FR and then I will never forget the day as well we were told they would legally have to, it was so upsetting I cried and cried!
Now in the long run this is all up to the judge but we have the county who does not want to offer FR, we have a judge who is for sure concerned about this man and his background and the safety of the child, we have the DA who is the girl's attorney who is for sure not for it and the birth Mother's attorney as well who is fighting against the Father for the Baby to not be with him and then us! On top of this recommendation he is not doing well in his current services they are asking of him, so this with his scary past is where they are basing this conclusion on! You tell me how he can go up against all that, I am feeling good I really am! Miracles and prayers can happen and be answered and I think we might just be on our way, keep praying friends and fam we feel it!! :)

Monday, March 14, 2011

I LOVE YOU

The most sweetest words, "I love you", spoken by our Baby girl tonight on the day she turned 16 months old! It is so amazing to hear this from her, not only do we have our Sissy who tells us all day long but now the baby too, it is just the best thing in the world! As I am approaching my 33rd birthday on Saturday, this is the best present and all I need right here, the babies and their love!
We had court on friday and it was continued again due to Birth father's attorney being out, even though he had a sub he did not want to go on with out her, of course he would want to continue for that! Ugh! But we found out some awesome news and I feel good about moving on and am praying this is some insight to some prayers being answered and very hopeful things happening for all of us! The girl's have an attorney, the DA and she is not in favor of Birth Father reunifying with the Baby, this is such good news we are so happy to hear this! We did not know what she wanted for the girls and did not know how she felt, to hear this after 8 months is just awesome! So in a nut shell, no one is for him getting his daughter back and think there are major red flags and should not be done! The only ones that have rules they have to fallow is the county, the county we do not think is in favor of it either because in they beginning they wanted to deny him this but they have to fallow certain procedures and rules and allow him so much, which is just plain sad that the system works this way but at least we know they do not want it they just have to see this thru and fallow the way the system works!
At this point I am still praying he MAY not get his 6 months of reunification, we can only still pray for this but if he does get this 6 months to try and reunify it does not mean he will get her and I personally do not think he will be successful at this, it will just put us through hell as we say, before we find out she is ours forever!
Onto court at the end of this month for a settlement which I am sure they will not settle on anything, then onto our hearing which we have been waiting for, for months and months now, sentence these parents, please oh please! Praying! :)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Teacher's compliments made my day!

Today Sissy's teacher came out and she is so awesome I love her. We worked with Sissy for an hour assessing her for her KCKids program! She was doing so well, could do almost everything she asked her to do but we noticed she took direction so well and much better from me! So I started to ask and explain the tasks to her instead of her teacher and it was amazing how well she did. Her teacher said I know her so well and know how to work with her so very well, it is great. It made my day, it just really did, I feel so great this week, it makes all of this hard work and the oh so very frustrating times all worth it. This is where the rewards all come out in the journey of parenting and parenting a child that has come from where she has. I love this little girl, she is my life and I will forever try to do my best to help her be all she can be!
I wanted to also document something from yesterdays visit with the baby and her birth father, that he was late to his visit! We actually thought he was not coming, he is never late. The rules are the birth parents have to be there early and cannot be even one minute late but his supervising worker allowed him 5 minutes and as we were just getting ready to go and I was so happy, he came walking up, just so cool like whatever I have never been late, there is a first for everything he says! Ugh, grrr! :( I am afraid that this guy who usually supervises is allowing him too many breaks and it makes me wonder what he is actually documenting  from these visits, like that the baby doesn't like him, has no bond to him, just goes to play and eat snack, never hugs or kisses him, doesn't even say hi to him or bye, you know the reality of it all! And her birth father claimed he taught her to say "please help" a two word phrase, which I know she cannot say! She is talking a lot and repeating a lot but her only two words she now says as of yesterday is "thank you". I have only gotten her to say "please", she doesn't say "help" at all! This man is a huge lier, he lies about everything let me tell you! It is scary how he thinks and what he does, this man is not to be trusted!!
Now onto to court tomorrow, prayers, prayers for answers and to not let this man get anything good!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

It has been way to long and I need to journal they tell me!

Well I have decided to start blogging lots more! :) This is more for myself and the girls cases too! I love updating friends and fam and sharing our journey but I will also be using this as a journal for our situation too to have it as record. So if you fallow my blog bare with me there will be a lot more entries now and I may only share some with all or on fb too! :)
I will need to update from the last 3 months because I have not blogged since Jan. which I can't believe how fast time has gone on but there is too much to tell now so I will just have to start on this week for now and do the last 3 months later.
This week is a big one, court, attorney is coming on to our journey here, Sissy has gotten great news, eye doc for Sis, vision teacher has come back and more!!
On Monday we met with our new attorney for the first time, we are going for something called De facto status, it gives Foster Parents who have cared for the children at least 6 months more of a say and can be present in most of court hearings too. It is not as much a birth parents rights but it gives us a bonus and something we feel that is very important for the girls. We are also happy to have someone representing us and what we want to see happen. Right now we are just going for this status so there is more to come on this but I feel good about it all. Homework for now is a log of all medical appointments from the last almost 8 months! That I can do!
Sissy went back to see her local eye doc today and she said everything is looking nice and improving so that is so great to hear. She does want us to still patch the eye on top of drops 1 hour each day, she hates it and it is so hard to get her to do but we will try to continue to do so! This little girl is doing so very well. We also got great news yesterday that she scored NORMAL on her ASQse, yahoo, so amazing to hear, so proud of all of our hard work, hers and ours!! Hats off to her KCkids and teachers too.
Visit with birth Dad, the oh so dreaded visit with the Baby's birth father, something I seriously loathe! I had to report to him and the supervising worker that the Baby had yet another ouchy because she is a toddler and is crazy, so that of course went over well. Told them about her bruise above  her eye brow and how she hit my mirror in our bedroom, then also how the other bruises got there because she has a bit of a temper and likes to throw herself down and hit her head on things when she is mad or doesn't get her way! The birth father who is so weird, just plain weird was too concerned that I had to have her strapped in a stroller for her safety while her sister was getting checked out at the eye doc today! "Why did she have to be in there?" he asks. Oh my, maybe if you were a father in the first place you would understand you can let a toddler run around a very small office with many objects that could hurt her and I as well had to hold onto the 2 year old! I know what he is going to do I see it now, oh this woman cannot not take care of two at one time, I need to get my daughter away from her! Yep to go along with his request for wanting a new foster Mother because the baby calls me Mama too, that was a good one! Then the question I got when I went back to get the baby today was, "when she was stuck in the stroller and could not get out, did she have a toy?" Oh wow buddy, glad I didn't think of that one, thank you oh great one, you are so brilliant! Grrrrrr! I told him why yes she had a snack, my cell phone and my keys to play with, things she loves but at that moment she wanted to scream and throw a huge fit because she could not get out of the stroller and she was slamming her head onto the bar of the stroller cuz she was mad!! Mind you this was a total of 5-10 min that she could not get out, it was not long, she was perfectly fine before that! Ugh! This is what I have to deal with this guy, he is something else man and I know it's only going to get way worse and way more ugly with him, it's going to be a big fight! The Baby has been saying "No, No, No" and shaking her head no the last 2-3 visit we have seen him, she does not like him, not only this but she used to cry every time, every time, it was awful! What I love though is how he tries to kiss and hug her and she will not ever do it to him, she just ignores him, she doesn't say hi or bye or hug or kiss him at all! She says hi and bye to lots of people now and hugs and kisses all the time! She even said bye to the supervisor today but not her own birth father, ya lets say a sign!!
Tomorrow Sissy's teacher comes out and we love her so yay for that, her vision teacher returned after some months and just couldn't believe her progress, said she looked and was doing fantastic.
Friday we have court, oh court gotta love court days too! Lets pray of course again we do not get postponed yet again, it has been so much waiting now for so long of just getting the parents sentenced! We want reduced visits to two times or one time a month on the birth Mom and get Sissy in her assessment for adoption finally, so we can hopefully adopt her in this year still. On the Baby and her birth father we do not want him to get anything positive, we only want still supervised visits and nothing increased or unsupervised and want ti hear they are issuing his services or not and that he has his psychological evaluation coming up very soon! Also that the county got the clear to use his evidence from his juvenile years too! This guy should have never been allowed to even see his daughter, its crazy but it has been allowed! :(