The Good News Continues!

I had an amazing evening after I received an email from the girls social worker this evening, I actually screamed when I read the news and started balling with joy, after the day I have had you will understand why too. As I took Baby girl to her visit today and had to leave her screaming from the stranger of a father she has, I was so upset and just wanted to cry. I just thought a little baby should not have to go through this, she just should not, it is so not fare to her. The supervising worker had to call me after 35 minutes because she had not stopped screaming. I went back to help calm her down during the visit and she would not go back to him, while I was happy she did not go for him and is not forming a bond what so ever, I hate this trauma it puts her through for this time.
As I drove home after in the car I prayed to God that this would stop and we could see an answer to this problem and issue and for her not ever, ever go back to this man! Please oh please Lord I said give me a sign that this will be ok. When we finally got home after such a long day I sat down to read my emails and also wrote the girls social worker to tell her of this rough visit day we had with birth Dad, to my surprise she had wrote me at the same time. In the email she told me that last week the reunification board met to discuss Dad and they decided to NOT offer him services for "FR" Family reunification, this is when I screamed with joy and started balling! LOL I was so happy and excited and thank you Lord for hearing me! This is so awesome, we thought he was going to get 6 months of services and help and now he is not and due to his criminal back ground he never should and that is the reason they are no! Yes, yes they realize that what these girls need are to NOT be around these parents anymore, yes! We have a great reunification worker that realizes what is best for these babies! Now each birth parent will still get to have their visits for a period of time, how long that shall be I am still waiting for the exact time line on that but if we are lucky maybe by the ned of the year it will be done, no more visits! :) I am so happy to hear all this good news, to have some worries put aside and begin to officially think like a family, like a real family and these are our daughters! This is an amazing feeling you have no idea, they will be ours, I feel like climbing a mountain and screaming at the top of my lungs with joy! Heehee We are here, we are actually here!
Now of course there will still be the process of court hearings and waiting for the important time line and marks we want to hit, I will keep you all posted on that, it will not be official and the adoption will not be final for sometime but this is all just what we want and where we want to be right now, it is going very well and how we want, it is hard to understand unless you have been through it or had a family member or friend go through the process but as our social worker said today, it is time to be happy, it is time now to celebrate!!! :)

Starting a New Chapter!

Today is the official last day of Missy's Lil'ones Daycare, after 4 years I am closing the doors! I feel this was meant to be and it completely led in this direction. I don't feel I inconvenienced any of the few last families too terribly and everyone has good easy transitions to go into to, I think this was such a sign of it being so right. I was so stressed about the girls situation and how I was going to do it all. I tired to find help and it didn't work, I tried to work only part time but the schedules did not comply or one of my parents needed full time still. I know after making this big decision that it was all meant to go in this direction, right now my time and focus is needed for the girls and things are falling into place for that. It is proven to me every week when almost every day I have something for them that is taking place, it would not be fare to my daycare families to have to always deal with this, I would not be able to provide a good service any longer. I am so excited to start this new chapter as a full time Mommy, a super busy one at that too but I will miss my day care buddies so much! I already do!
Today my last little guy brought me a gift, well you know his Mommy did and it was so sweet, when I read the card it made me just ball, I feel so loved and so appreciated. I have watched this little guy, like many of the others from when he was a baby and now he is 4! :) Watching kiddos grow through out these years has been why I do what I do, making the connections and the relationships too. I have always loved working with kids, teaching them, having fun with them and watching them grow into amazing little people! I so appreciate the amazing families that have stuck with me and all of my ups and downs too, I have had some amazing parents and families, it was a great business for these years to have. I will so miss all my little friends, I already miss the ones that have come and go through the years so much and will miss all the latest buddies soooooo much too! :( Thank you if you were apart of Missy's Lil'ones, you will never be forgotten! xoxoxox
Now I move on to this new role as Mommy, we finally get to be parents, our family has finally begun. It is funny because I started this daycare to be a Mom, to work at home and make income while I was a parent but because God had a different plan for us that I could not see for so long, we are now headed in a different direction and I am very excited, feel so blessed and thankful that he is leading us this way, it feels amazing! :)

It's ALWAYS an interesting life being a parent!

So could it be that Sissy might just potty train herself, haha! Today she for the first time was caught in the action of pooping in her diaper and I said "Sis are you going poopoo?" She said "yes" and I said, "You should have told Mommy Sis" She looked at me and said "go to potty" I said "yes, yes run." So she went to the potty and even though she had started to go she finished in the potty and we continued to use it through out the day and even wore panties, she had an accident once but was ok after that. Of course she is in a diaper for bed time but maybe just maybe we are on our way now. I hate potty training, I have worked with so many kiddos on this but once they get it, it is so very exciting. I do not want to push her she has way too much going on right now in her little life, so we just try and when she goes in the potty she is really rewarded! She will get it, she is a smart little thing and she does go every time on the potty she gets on too, it's just not going in her pants and not liking the feeling of it that we need to work on! Telling us too when she has gone or needs to is what has not been happening so this was a good step today! It is the best feeling to teach your children things and they get it, what a huge reward for me too when we will have this down! Yay to Sis, I want to go out and get her a bunch of cute undies now, heehee!
Oh to not buy diapers for her would be so awesome, we keep saying we will not go to Costco for hers so we need to get her potty trained or have her get it down soon, LOL! :)
Now teething and Baby girl is just about to do me in, oh man how do parents survive this, seriously, haha?! Second tooth now coming in, so two little bottom ones at the same time and I really think the top are going to come very soon as well, feels like it. Nothing helps, seriously tired everything, nothing helps, if it does it's only for a short time. We cannot give her Tylenol 24/7 geesh! I just hope and pray she gets them all soon, she is in pain and not sleeping the same or eating the same either, she is so cranky and clingy too, poor thing. Hurry up teeth, just come in already please I beg of you, LOL!

Update on the girls and our last few weeks!

I can't even remember the little things anymore, some days I am not sure my head is even attached! :)
So much going on, life is so busy and crazy, I wish I could just pause everything and take it all in because it is the amazing moments you want to freeze in time and soak it all up. I find my self going through so many emotions through out the weeks, even day to day. Some days I am so happy, filled with love, joy and just feel so blessed to be where we are. Some days I am just plain exhausted  and all I want is more sleep and thats all I can think about. Some days I am so anxious about what is going on with the girls and their case and I think is this just too good to be true and what is really going to happen, then the worry starts to take over me, "Please Lord don't ever take these precious babies from me." And some days I just want to break a way and get a Mommy break from the two little girlies that I love to death but where me out at the same time too, I want to play and do what ever I want and not have to be on Mom duty. It is a huge job to be a Mother, let a lone one of two girls that came from where they did and go through what they are going through and are 15 months apart. Would I ever want it different, no never, not in a heart beat, I love them so much and I know God saved them for us, I know he wanted them to be with us forever? It all makes sense now, we realize that and see what he wanted and where he wanted us. And I know he is teaching me so many lessons, Mother hood is all I ever wanted and it is and will be the toughest job I will ever have in my life. But the rewards that come with it is the highest paying job I will ever have as well, no money involved ever as the reward too.
My husband and I talked last night about how much our lives have changed in the last 3 1/2 months, that is when we got baby Phil then led into these girls and we said this is it, this is our family and we are not focused on that biological child that we so tried for for so many of the last years, we know that we were meant to have these girls and everything else is ok, we do not need to be parents to a biological child to have a family and be fulfilled in life, we were meant to adopt. We do not know what the future will bring but for now this is where we are and it feels so good. So many emotions going thru us right now, stress, excitement, just plain tired, nerves, scared and so much love, like I said before, no wonder things are so nuts. :)
I wanted to post about the girls too and give a little update on them:
Sissy-she is doing awesome, she is a 2 year old in so many ways, even though she has Developmental challenges and is behind, she is dealing with a lot of normal age appropriate behaviors too. It is always a challenge with a 2 year old around, funny great times and they are learning so much and then down right awful times when they are learning the hard things about life, that they "can't" do what they want all the time. We have many people coming around for this little gal right now and it is so awesome to have the support from the county and so many services for her. She has 3 eye conditions and is Developmentally challenged so we are working on Vision therapy, Occupational therapy and Speech therapy. I think with all of this and she has such a desire to learn she is going to be just fine. Along with all of this she and we can also receive family therapy and counseling for her and us to work with the emotional toll this is all having on her. It is so great and all helps so very much. She is my mini me I call her, I love her so much and she is my daughter already, I am so blessed to have her and prayed for this. Sissy also has lost weight, is wearing a size smaller in diapers and her clothes are fitting bigger. She as well has her other baby teeth finally coming in too.
Little Baby cakes is just cute as a button but the little sassiest thing man, she is so funny, doing so well, emotionally, developmentally, I mean she is just on top of it all. She is going to be just fine, she is so smart and doing great. She has gained 4lbs in two months and just might be 20lbs by her first b-day. She is teething and it is a huge challenge, I loathe teething, it is tough, I feel so bad for her pain but man rough for parents too. She is super active and into everything, she should be walking too very soon, she is a speed crawler now and stands on her own as well as moves around the house hanging onto everything. She keeps us on our toes that is for sure. She started to see her birth Dad for visits this week and I hate it, I hate leaving her, she cried on Friday and it just makes me sad mad and sad it even needs to happen. I pray we can get through this hard time all ok and soon too. I love this baby girl so much, she loves me and I know I am her Mama when all that comforts her is me, when she points to me and smiles when I come near her, I love it.
Both of these girls make me feel so good as their Mommy, to hear Sissy get excited and call us Mommy and Daddy, it is amazing, so great to hear after all these years and just really feel it too. I am thankful and feel blessed to be here in our lives, it is not easy and it is still a bumpy road we are on but I thank God for them everyday no matter how I feel. :)

Match Meeting!

Our Match Meeting is being planned, this is a meeting in which we are officially matched to the girls for adoption! This means no other family will be chosen, we are the chosen ones and we will be asked at that time if we will adopt the girls, of course we will say yes! We will get all of their info that they have on them the good, the bad and the ugly too! This is big, I never thought this would ever happen, to get to this point! We have waited so long for something like this, we have had so many set backs and heart ache over the last almost 4 years and now over a year with being certified too! This is always what we want to be parents and to adopt as well! To get what we have dreamt  about for so long a beautiful family, healthy beautiful children!
Like I explained in the last post a bit, it is going to go in stages. We will have hearings and court dates and Sissy will be adopted first! It is a real bummer we will not get to adopt the girls together but that is how it goes! We will have to wait it out for 6 mo and see what her dad does, we really feel he will not prove himself fit we really don't think he can pull that off, not with his history but we will have to wait, it will be a very scary 6 mo for our little Baby girl and us!
Like I said in the last post too, daughters, I can't believe it, daughters!!! It is amazing how much Sissy girl looks like her "Me" too! I know God you knew what you were doing, you wanted us to wait, you had these girls saved for us, I know it now!:))))

Finally Some Exciting News

Well we received some exciting news today that we have been waiting to hear! We ARE the chosen family that will get to adopt the girls once they have officially gone to adoption!!! (They have been referred to Adoption already) This is so exciting, they will not be looking for another family or a county family, they have ruled that out. They feel for all the same reasons that we wanted them to, that it is best for them to stay with us. Amen to answered prayers, this is such a wonderful thing for them and for us! We were so scared at what the county was going to do but we are so relieved they see what is the best for the girls.
We are still going through the process and it will get a little complicated and tricky too, next month will determine a lot more, specially on Baby girls birth Father's end. As far as their birth mother it is pretty much done for her, is the status I was told today, she has pretty much burned her bridges and is done. Unfortunately it looks as though these girls will be adopted out at different times due to two different dads so we may get Sissy first and then have to wait on Baby girl! It is complicated of course!
 But we move on and we keep chugging a long and nothing is final until it is final but we have a really great and an amazing thing that could be going on here! Two daughters, never would have thought my life my end up like this, wow, crazy!! I always wanted sons, haha! My husband is so out numbered, all he has is the cat now!
Keep the prayers coming for us and the girls please, we feel them and prayers are getting answered, it is wonderful! Please pray for baby girl and the situation with her and the birth father, we might have some bumps along the way and will need prayers!!! I feel that in the end though God knows where these girls belong! :)))

Moving Forward Finally!

I got the experience of going to my first court day as a Foster Parent today! I got to witness a trial actually, it was interesting at the least! We had to wait from 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. to get called in, even had a break for lunch for an hour in there too, it was such a long wait to go in for basically 30 min! Gosh! Thank goodness I/we have the best Social Worker around and she was by my side the whole time because there are some sketchy people around that place, man oh man! :(~
Not only that but at one point poor her and I where in between birth father to baby girl and birth mother to both of the girls and there is major issues between the two, it was an awkward moment I would say! LOL
We also had to endure their birth mother for most of the day as well, as she jibber jabbered to us non stop, haha, I am around this woman a lot so I can laugh about this, I have really gotten to know a lot about this woman, man oh man, too much I would say, wow! She and I are very civil and I sure hope it stays that way, I do believe she loves her daughters a lot but she is a true mess and she loves her drugs way more and cannot get clean and healthy! She knows her girls are safe and loved and I enforce that to her all the time!
Baby girl's birth father is an interesting guy, in a very sketchy way I will say, was not to happy to have to meet him but I will have to be seeing him for visits now so it had to happen at some point! These birth parents need to get help, they are a mess and have a long history of drugs, domestic violence and criminal backgrounds, it is really sad! Thank goodness right now all 3 girls are in safe, happy and loving homes and lets hope it stays that way!
Todays court was to finally get passed  the birth parents and why their kids were removed or placed in care! Had to go to trial over this but at least we can move forward now, judge said charges were reasonable and for the right reasons and we now move forward to the Deposition next month, this will actually give a sentence on what they feel should happen with the girls, we are praying of course "Adoption"! It's already been referred so lets keep going in that direction, yes! The chances of these birth parents ever getting their acts together, getting jobs, getting clean and staying clean or even having decent homes to love and provided for their babies, is very rare!
I could not wait to get home to the girls today, I felt as if I was at work all day, I missed them lots, specially poor Sissy being sick! :(
Today also marks 8 weeks we have had the girls! As the weeks go by and months add on it is only in our favor and so very positive for us! :0)))