Fun and Special Moments!

Today we got to have the joy of taking pictures out at the Pumpkin Patch in the girl's costumes. It was an experience I will say. :)~ They were not in the best moods, although they like their costumes "black cats" tutus and all, they were not happy and just wanted to do their own thing, like normal! haha Baby was curious about it all and did ok, she was easier to capture but Sissy did not want to cooperate at all with us, I think our photographer finally got a few shots of them both together and happy before we had to give in to the lollipops. What a cute place to take pics though and I love their costumes, although we decided not to draw on cat nose and whiskers cuz we were afraid they would wipe it all over and make a mess out of it, I do really still love the outfits I ran all over to get yesterday! I cannot wait to see the finished product. Next week is their birthday shots, we will see how that goes!
Another great special time today, my Dad and Step Mom came out to meet the girls for the first time, it was so awesome! A lot of the family has met the girls now but not them, so it was very special. Seeing my parents with the girls is so special in itself, for that is what I have longed for, for so long now is my family with them and traditions carried on. I didn't think it would make me emotional seeing them with the girls today but a few times I got choked up. There were some really adorable and sweet moments with each of them and the girls, specially seeing my Dad with them and I just loved it, touches my heart so much, they love him already, even Baby who is so shy at times. I cannot wait for our trip over Thanksgiving with them, it will be so fun with Grandpa and Grandma! Something that was just so cute was my Dad laid down for a little rest in our living room on the floor and Sissy got her blanket, pillow and dolly and laid next to him, my Dad passed out and started snoring and Sis watched a movie and while he slept she petted his hair, heehee, so adorable! Just makes me smile! :)))

Court, 3 and 11 months!

We had court on Friday and nothing happened because they had to just postpone the actual hearing two weeks out because the county did not turn in paper work in on time for the court to receive in time and go over. These things happen a lot I hear and so here we are looking at 6 weeks now most likely just to sentence the parents! It has almost been 3 months since these girls came into our lives and we are still waiting to have these birth parents sentenced, seems like it has been so long and they have been here for ever! But then hearing just 3 months and I realize so much has actually happened in that time. I can be patient, something I am not very good at but I can and will. I know what is waiting for me in the end and I know it is the best thing to ever happen to me besides my hubby and I finding each other and having him in my life and future as well.
So back we will go to court in 2 weeks and they will most likely go trial over all of this which will be a month out from there. :)~
On the 21st of this month it will be 3 months since these girlies came to be in our lives, gosh, we talk about that day a lot, it was insane, the first few weeks like I have said so many times, I can't believe we survived them. These girls have changed so much, I can't even believe it, Sissy doesn't even seem like the same little girl that came to us at all, I look back and think wow, she has just evolved into this little amazing, blonde haired, silly, smart and happy little girl. I just love her to death, she is my little girl I always tell her. Baby cakes, man, watch out world cuz here she comes, just growing, getting teeth, longer hair, walking and most likely running soon I am sure too, she is crazy. She is my Baby girl though and I love having her as that and still little enough to get that too. She turned 11 months on the 14th and I just can't believe we will be celebrating her first birthday next month, I am so excited to get to be a part of this huge milestone in her life, I can't wait. I think to myself a lot, we are so lucky to have gotten these girls when they were so young, to get to go through so much with them, God you knew what you were doing. ;)
This next week will be busy, appointments, visits and Halloween pics which I am so excited for. Although I have to get the rest of their costumes and get them put together, I am so excited. This is such a fun time of year.
My hubby and I will have had our first date 7 years ago Oct 23rd and have been together ever since, never would have thought our lives would take us to the point we are at now and I couldn't be happier. We will be going back to our little spot, where that first date happened, maybe we can even get our same little booth! :))) xoxoxox

The Match Meeting

Today was our Match Meeting, such a big day! We have officially been labeled as the girls Risk Adopt family. They are an adoptive placement now. The journey still continues and we have not even started the 6 mo adoption process yet but hoping after court on Fri we will find out when that will begin, that is if hearings or trials do not get delayed. What was handled today was basically explaining to us the girls history and birth parents as well and how this all came to be to this point. We received a big packet of info and I have yet to get passed the first couple of pages but once the girls go to sleep I am ready to read all about everyone. I am anxious to read on further, we receive all info they have on birth parents entire history and lives plus the girls, interesting info so far, explains a few things. It is so refreshing that their social worker and the adoptions worker are so on board to not send them back to birth parents. Their birth parents are all a big mess and have been for many, many years, there should be no question in anyones minds that they should never go back to lives like they had. So sad what they even went through for how long they did.
I am just so happy and excited we have come to this point, a day that I have dreamt about for over a year now. I remember thinking I just want to get to this point, please oh Lord! Normally when this would happen we would hear about the risk adopt children first before they would be placed with us, then have  the Match Meeting and then say yes or no to them after receiving the info and go forward to starting to visit with them until they came to live with us forever, or move on to the next case. Well not the case here, we got these girls first and as foster children so we all know how it went from there but oh man do I thank our social worker, God and my husband too for us all opening up our lives and guiding us to foster care as well, or these little baby girls would not be with us right now. It is all falling into place, I can see it now.
Now on to court to see what the judge says in sentencing the parents, it is recommended that parents do not get any services to get their children back because of their pasts, also no help in any rehab or classes of any sort and also visits get reduced down to two times per mo, we will either get the green light and go forwarder to the adoption process start date and reduced visits or we will get delayed and go to trial next mo if any of the birth parents contest. Our social worker says be prepared to get delayed or postponed. Of course that is so annoying and we just want to move forward but we are prepared as much as can be to be patient and wait this out. I know in the end everything will be ok no matter how bumpy the ride will get. :0)

The Latest!

I have not blogged in a little while, been busy like always. Things are still booming around here, busy life with the girlies, visits with birth parents(dislike those days) school group for Sis, family life(what little time we all have together)etc, etc!!! Life with the girls is still so surreal sometimes, I just can't believe they are here at times. I love all the little amazing moments, I just want to soak them up and I could do without the tough, stressful, hard and just down right awful times too but I know its life and no one said it would be easy! :)
The Baby is just crazy, she is such a spit fire still and getting more so I think, she is going to be a sassy Mama I tell ya. She has been taking lots of steps in a row, walked across half a room so far, she wants to be so big this kid and she is just the tiniest little thing. I can't believe she is almost one, we are putting together a little family party for her for her birthday next month and it is fun planning, although I have been so indecisive about it all, I am happy what is turning out to be. I wish we could do more and give her a huge bash, I love parties but this will be just fine and have a lot of her new fam here for her! I can't wait to see her smash that cake and go for it. Because we hope to have a HUGE celebration when the time is right for the adoption, we didn't want to do something too big now for her birthday too, one thing at a time right now, so much going on. We are getting ready to stop bottles with her and formula and move on to just whole milk, she is eating good table foods and prefers that, I just want to make sure she keeps packing on weight so gotta watch that. I am also very ready to get her in a forward facing car set too, she hates facing back, last time we checked she was 18lbs, hoping she will be 20 by her 1st birthday so we can turn her around, in hopefully a new car seat for her bday! I love this little bug so much and she loves me bunches, she is my little baby cakes an I just couldn't live my life without her. :)
Sis is doing better and better each week, she has her 2 yr old moments of course(Grrrrr) LOL but we get through it. She is learning so much, we are really working with her, her speech is really improving, in fact most days we can't shut her up, lol! She is just so loving, with an attitude sometimes and in her way but she is a cuddle bug and loves her attention for sure. I love how she just squeezes onto me sometimes and loves and kisses me. I love the love from the girls, it is the absolute best. Sis is still working on the potty thing, she will go anytime on the potty we put her on but she also has no prob going in her pants. I feel this is mainly due to birth Mom leaving them so soiled all the time, she just is so used to that. She will tell us once in a while if she has gone poopoo but hardly ever so we have to get to that point. We are out and about a lot too so it is very hard to work on it. Once the visits with birth parents get reduced we are going to go strong. She will get it I know it, she is close. We would love to not do diapers or pullups with her anymore like I have said before. :0)
Her school and KCKids is going well, she is considered Developmentally challenged like I have said before too but she is really showing so much improvement, I think with so much help this little girl is going to be ok. There are still some concerns we have at how much and what she will have challenges with as she gets older but I am so proud of her. It will be my #1 priority to give her all she needs to catch up and be what she can be.
This is such a fun time of year, I have got to get the rest of their costumes but at least I finally decided what they are going to be, I can't wait, so fun. We have a friend that is going to do a photo shoot for us, going to do 2 yr pics for Sis, 1 yr pics for baby, Halloween and pumpkin time shots and family photos too, I can't wait. So Excited!!!!
This next week we have some exciting times and some stressful times too.  We will be having our Match Meeting this week, which I am super pumped about. I remember when we got certified I remember our social worker explaining how things would go once we would get an adoptive placement, I remember hearing her talk about the Match Meeting and this was a big step in the process, so I am so glad to be at this point. They will officially ask us to adopt the girls and we will get lots of info on them, all they have. Even though they know we will adopt them and we have info it will be good to have this, I am excited. But we also have court this week too and this is making me nervous on what will exactly happen in court. Most likely we will get postponed out several weeks to a trial, so that annoys me but we will just have to see what happens with it all. This hearing is to sentence the parents and though of course we want things to go one way, they don't always do. It has been recommended now both parents be denied services and we go forward the the 2-6 hearing but it is all up to the judge to determine this and she may post pone things a few weeks before we will know all this. We have a good judge and feel she will be on the side of the girls, so lots of prayers will be said for this day and I will be so glad to get it over with. They are also going to ask for visits to be reduced and I am praying, praying we can get that granted, I hate dealing with these visit days.
Onto the start of another week in our crazy adventure, my how our lives have changed and I just want to pinch myself everyday to make sure I am not dreaming. Almost 3 months we have had the girls in our lives, so much has happened in these 3 mo. :0)

A nine to ten month process??!!

I wanted to share some of the feelings I have about getting this news over the last week. I honestly feel as though if a doctor told us we were expecting a baby(two babies) in nine to ten months, like if we just got that news and we were celebrating and telling all of our family and friends! Of course it is different but I have never felt this feeling and experienced this and this is the only thing I can compare it to because we are going to be parents and we did just find out and it very well could take nine to ten months to finalize everything! By the time we start our adoption process it could be the end of the year, although to me it has already begun. I already feel as though these are my daughters! It is weird, its like we are going backwards, most expecting parents find out the news and wait over nine months to meet their precious son or daughter, we got them first and then got the news and now have to wait for it to be legal, it's a crazy thing to go through. And although expecting parents to twins find out there is more than one, usually you get one at a time, not us, instant family to two daughters, heehee! Who would have thought!
I am so honored to be adopting these girls, I am so honored to talk with their birth Mom, which surprisingly is actually very civil, friendly and loving, and be talking about the future with her and a permanent situation. Their birth Mom has been through this before and knows the process, she knows she is done and she is actually already doing things before it is even time! She and I talk, we talk a lot and although I do not allow her to much personal info, she has told me she is really happy her girls are with us, she knows they will have a great life and a much better, healthier and safer life at that. She wrote her daughters letters to read when they are old enough to understand and they were beautiful, they made me cry. I think she honestly gets it, although I wish she would get herself together and quit having children, I would not have these girls if she would have not had them, so from now on I hope she stops, i thank her too for giving me these babies.
I will some day tell the girls about this journey and their birth Mom, I want them to know when they can understand how this all happened and worked out, of course I want to protect them from any pain or hurt but I will tell them and be as honest with them as I think should be. Their birth Mom truly loves them, this I know and I know she never meant to harm them but she loves her drugs more and can't get clean and out of this life style. I pray for her all the time and hope to God she gets herself clean because I fear that we may get a call that it was too late and she has done herself in for good, I fear this all the time.
I have saved the letters from their Mother and will be starting a box for each of them and placing things from her in them, these will be their special boxes, I want them to have this. I want their Mom to know too how much we wanted this and how amazing it feels to be taking care of and getting to adopt these angels. I want her to know we will always do our best to give them what ever they need, they are our number one priority and we will bend over backwards for them, no matter what it takes!
Their Mom has expressed some wants for them and although when they are our daughters it is up to us to do what we wish for them, I want her to know we will do things that we feel are best for them and us. She may not like it all but I want to be honest with her and tell her why. One big thing is we plan to change their names, I am sure she will not be happy about this but we plan to have some form of at least written contact with her, so she will know that we will be changing their names. I am going to explain this to her in the next few months and I hope and pray she can understand and be at peace with the decisions we make.
Changing their names is a huge deal to us, it makes them ours it gives them the new life we are all starting and we are picking names that we feel fit them and fit the family they are joining. It is a hard thing to do and I want to do this asap so they do not get too old to go through this. This is why we call them by their nicknames most of the time. We have two names in mind but they are not set in stone so we are still making that perfect decision. By the time we start the 6mo process we can start calling them by their new names, I can wait till that happens!
I can't believe how this is all going and I only pray for it continue on this way and this smoothly, with birth Mom and everything, it is just such a blessing!
On to the next nine to ten months, making plans, making big decisions and all the fun too! I can't wait to call them by their new names, I can't wait to re do their room, I can't wait to celebrate with all of our family and friends that these are our new daughters!!! I want to have the biggest party ever! :))))))

Maybe I should write a book, I got so much to tell! :)

I sometimes think my brain is going to burst with all the things I want to express and tell! This experience is just so unbelievable. From the time Erin and I started trying to have a family and the years of disappointment and trying so many things and weighing our options and even wondering if this was the right way to go, I have never been more reassured than now, this is where we are supposed to be!
Some of you know how we got involved in this but let me tell you quickly, this is all a pretty amazing story, I think! So my husband and I had been going through the ups and downs of infertility issues and we decided to check into adoption, we knew after checking into private adoption, like fertility as well we could not afford much in these departments. We actually tried to make it happen on both ends but were unsuccessful. As we checked into Foster Adoption we started one summer to get certified through the county and then my husband got a new job, his career he has now, that we knew was going to be a great career and that had to take focus. So yet again we were back to noting in the family department. It wasn't until almost a year later, I came across an old friend and go figure Facebook, she and I had know each other since we were kids but had not talked in years. As I found out what she did as a career I could not believe it, she was a social worker! I told her about our struggles and our wishes to have a family more than anything, as she gave me info on so many routes we could take we decided to go with the agency she worked for and we got certified to become Foster Adopt parents a year ago this last August.
Now this was a tough year, very tough year, we did not want to Foster, we only wanted to adopt but as the year went on we allowed our selves to Foster and though it was hear breaking at times, I can say we would not be where we are at today if we would not have listened to our awesome social worker and did foster care! Now as for the girls their story of how they came to us gets even crazier! When we had precious new born baby P for 6 weeks, we were so sad he was going to be leaving us but I had honestly made peace with it, had decided life was going to go back to the way it was and we were going to get some rest, take a break and just breathe till the next situation, which we were hoping was only foster/adoption, we honestly did not want to do the foster thing again, we were very sad over baby P! But to our shocking surprise two days before he was leaving us, while I was in his meeting with the new Foster parents, one of the gals at the agency called our social worker a billion times and was frantic, she explained how she had submitted us for these two girls and because like so many times before not been picked she thought I will just do it because what are the odds! :) Now she is not technically supposed to be the one sending off our Home study but she felt it won't happen so why not, and guess what, we got picked of course, and she thought oh i am in so much trouble here! Well we all know how this turns out now, I have to say I could not love her more right now, LOL!
Receiving these two little girls was the hardest thing we ever went through for a few weeks, the first few days were the worst by far, baby P was still here and it was absolute HELL, sorry to say but it was. But I know why God wanted this, to ease our pain from loosing baby P.
Now with everything happening and us getting the info this last week that the parents are done and we will be getting to adopt them, I see how it all falls together, it was so hard to see for so many years what God wanted for us, I just couldn't understand for the longest time but now I do! I am so filled with happiness, love, feeling so blessed and felling so thankful, I thank God for these girls everyday, even the tough days!
I can't wait to some day read all of these blogs to the girls when they are old enough to understand all of this! They were dreamed of a long time ago! :)