The Good News Continues!

I had an amazing evening after I received an email from the girls social worker this evening, I actually screamed when I read the news and started balling with joy, after the day I have had you will understand why too. As I took Baby girl to her visit today and had to leave her screaming from the stranger of a father she has, I was so upset and just wanted to cry. I just thought a little baby should not have to go through this, she just should not, it is so not fare to her. The supervising worker had to call me after 35 minutes because she had not stopped screaming. I went back to help calm her down during the visit and she would not go back to him, while I was happy she did not go for him and is not forming a bond what so ever, I hate this trauma it puts her through for this time.
As I drove home after in the car I prayed to God that this would stop and we could see an answer to this problem and issue and for her not ever, ever go back to this man! Please oh please Lord I said give me a sign that this will be ok. When we finally got home after such a long day I sat down to read my emails and also wrote the girls social worker to tell her of this rough visit day we had with birth Dad, to my surprise she had wrote me at the same time. In the email she told me that last week the reunification board met to discuss Dad and they decided to NOT offer him services for "FR" Family reunification, this is when I screamed with joy and started balling! LOL I was so happy and excited and thank you Lord for hearing me! This is so awesome, we thought he was going to get 6 months of services and help and now he is not and due to his criminal back ground he never should and that is the reason they are no! Yes, yes they realize that what these girls need are to NOT be around these parents anymore, yes! We have a great reunification worker that realizes what is best for these babies! Now each birth parent will still get to have their visits for a period of time, how long that shall be I am still waiting for the exact time line on that but if we are lucky maybe by the ned of the year it will be done, no more visits! :) I am so happy to hear all this good news, to have some worries put aside and begin to officially think like a family, like a real family and these are our daughters! This is an amazing feeling you have no idea, they will be ours, I feel like climbing a mountain and screaming at the top of my lungs with joy! Heehee We are here, we are actually here!
Now of course there will still be the process of court hearings and waiting for the important time line and marks we want to hit, I will keep you all posted on that, it will not be official and the adoption will not be final for sometime but this is all just what we want and where we want to be right now, it is going very well and how we want, it is hard to understand unless you have been through it or had a family member or friend go through the process but as our social worker said today, it is time to be happy, it is time now to celebrate!!! :)

Starting a New Chapter!

Today is the official last day of Missy's Lil'ones Daycare, after 4 years I am closing the doors! I feel this was meant to be and it completely led in this direction. I don't feel I inconvenienced any of the few last families too terribly and everyone has good easy transitions to go into to, I think this was such a sign of it being so right. I was so stressed about the girls situation and how I was going to do it all. I tired to find help and it didn't work, I tried to work only part time but the schedules did not comply or one of my parents needed full time still. I know after making this big decision that it was all meant to go in this direction, right now my time and focus is needed for the girls and things are falling into place for that. It is proven to me every week when almost every day I have something for them that is taking place, it would not be fare to my daycare families to have to always deal with this, I would not be able to provide a good service any longer. I am so excited to start this new chapter as a full time Mommy, a super busy one at that too but I will miss my day care buddies so much! I already do!
Today my last little guy brought me a gift, well you know his Mommy did and it was so sweet, when I read the card it made me just ball, I feel so loved and so appreciated. I have watched this little guy, like many of the others from when he was a baby and now he is 4! :) Watching kiddos grow through out these years has been why I do what I do, making the connections and the relationships too. I have always loved working with kids, teaching them, having fun with them and watching them grow into amazing little people! I so appreciate the amazing families that have stuck with me and all of my ups and downs too, I have had some amazing parents and families, it was a great business for these years to have. I will so miss all my little friends, I already miss the ones that have come and go through the years so much and will miss all the latest buddies soooooo much too! :( Thank you if you were apart of Missy's Lil'ones, you will never be forgotten! xoxoxox
Now I move on to this new role as Mommy, we finally get to be parents, our family has finally begun. It is funny because I started this daycare to be a Mom, to work at home and make income while I was a parent but because God had a different plan for us that I could not see for so long, we are now headed in a different direction and I am very excited, feel so blessed and thankful that he is leading us this way, it feels amazing! :)

It's ALWAYS an interesting life being a parent!

So could it be that Sissy might just potty train herself, haha! Today she for the first time was caught in the action of pooping in her diaper and I said "Sis are you going poopoo?" She said "yes" and I said, "You should have told Mommy Sis" She looked at me and said "go to potty" I said "yes, yes run." So she went to the potty and even though she had started to go she finished in the potty and we continued to use it through out the day and even wore panties, she had an accident once but was ok after that. Of course she is in a diaper for bed time but maybe just maybe we are on our way now. I hate potty training, I have worked with so many kiddos on this but once they get it, it is so very exciting. I do not want to push her she has way too much going on right now in her little life, so we just try and when she goes in the potty she is really rewarded! She will get it, she is a smart little thing and she does go every time on the potty she gets on too, it's just not going in her pants and not liking the feeling of it that we need to work on! Telling us too when she has gone or needs to is what has not been happening so this was a good step today! It is the best feeling to teach your children things and they get it, what a huge reward for me too when we will have this down! Yay to Sis, I want to go out and get her a bunch of cute undies now, heehee!
Oh to not buy diapers for her would be so awesome, we keep saying we will not go to Costco for hers so we need to get her potty trained or have her get it down soon, LOL! :)
Now teething and Baby girl is just about to do me in, oh man how do parents survive this, seriously, haha?! Second tooth now coming in, so two little bottom ones at the same time and I really think the top are going to come very soon as well, feels like it. Nothing helps, seriously tired everything, nothing helps, if it does it's only for a short time. We cannot give her Tylenol 24/7 geesh! I just hope and pray she gets them all soon, she is in pain and not sleeping the same or eating the same either, she is so cranky and clingy too, poor thing. Hurry up teeth, just come in already please I beg of you, LOL!

Update on the girls and our last few weeks!

I can't even remember the little things anymore, some days I am not sure my head is even attached! :)
So much going on, life is so busy and crazy, I wish I could just pause everything and take it all in because it is the amazing moments you want to freeze in time and soak it all up. I find my self going through so many emotions through out the weeks, even day to day. Some days I am so happy, filled with love, joy and just feel so blessed to be where we are. Some days I am just plain exhausted  and all I want is more sleep and thats all I can think about. Some days I am so anxious about what is going on with the girls and their case and I think is this just too good to be true and what is really going to happen, then the worry starts to take over me, "Please Lord don't ever take these precious babies from me." And some days I just want to break a way and get a Mommy break from the two little girlies that I love to death but where me out at the same time too, I want to play and do what ever I want and not have to be on Mom duty. It is a huge job to be a Mother, let a lone one of two girls that came from where they did and go through what they are going through and are 15 months apart. Would I ever want it different, no never, not in a heart beat, I love them so much and I know God saved them for us, I know he wanted them to be with us forever? It all makes sense now, we realize that and see what he wanted and where he wanted us. And I know he is teaching me so many lessons, Mother hood is all I ever wanted and it is and will be the toughest job I will ever have in my life. But the rewards that come with it is the highest paying job I will ever have as well, no money involved ever as the reward too.
My husband and I talked last night about how much our lives have changed in the last 3 1/2 months, that is when we got baby Phil then led into these girls and we said this is it, this is our family and we are not focused on that biological child that we so tried for for so many of the last years, we know that we were meant to have these girls and everything else is ok, we do not need to be parents to a biological child to have a family and be fulfilled in life, we were meant to adopt. We do not know what the future will bring but for now this is where we are and it feels so good. So many emotions going thru us right now, stress, excitement, just plain tired, nerves, scared and so much love, like I said before, no wonder things are so nuts. :)
I wanted to post about the girls too and give a little update on them:
Sissy-she is doing awesome, she is a 2 year old in so many ways, even though she has Developmental challenges and is behind, she is dealing with a lot of normal age appropriate behaviors too. It is always a challenge with a 2 year old around, funny great times and they are learning so much and then down right awful times when they are learning the hard things about life, that they "can't" do what they want all the time. We have many people coming around for this little gal right now and it is so awesome to have the support from the county and so many services for her. She has 3 eye conditions and is Developmentally challenged so we are working on Vision therapy, Occupational therapy and Speech therapy. I think with all of this and she has such a desire to learn she is going to be just fine. Along with all of this she and we can also receive family therapy and counseling for her and us to work with the emotional toll this is all having on her. It is so great and all helps so very much. She is my mini me I call her, I love her so much and she is my daughter already, I am so blessed to have her and prayed for this. Sissy also has lost weight, is wearing a size smaller in diapers and her clothes are fitting bigger. She as well has her other baby teeth finally coming in too.
Little Baby cakes is just cute as a button but the little sassiest thing man, she is so funny, doing so well, emotionally, developmentally, I mean she is just on top of it all. She is going to be just fine, she is so smart and doing great. She has gained 4lbs in two months and just might be 20lbs by her first b-day. She is teething and it is a huge challenge, I loathe teething, it is tough, I feel so bad for her pain but man rough for parents too. She is super active and into everything, she should be walking too very soon, she is a speed crawler now and stands on her own as well as moves around the house hanging onto everything. She keeps us on our toes that is for sure. She started to see her birth Dad for visits this week and I hate it, I hate leaving her, she cried on Friday and it just makes me sad mad and sad it even needs to happen. I pray we can get through this hard time all ok and soon too. I love this baby girl so much, she loves me and I know I am her Mama when all that comforts her is me, when she points to me and smiles when I come near her, I love it.
Both of these girls make me feel so good as their Mommy, to hear Sissy get excited and call us Mommy and Daddy, it is amazing, so great to hear after all these years and just really feel it too. I am thankful and feel blessed to be here in our lives, it is not easy and it is still a bumpy road we are on but I thank God for them everyday no matter how I feel. :)

Match Meeting!

Our Match Meeting is being planned, this is a meeting in which we are officially matched to the girls for adoption! This means no other family will be chosen, we are the chosen ones and we will be asked at that time if we will adopt the girls, of course we will say yes! We will get all of their info that they have on them the good, the bad and the ugly too! This is big, I never thought this would ever happen, to get to this point! We have waited so long for something like this, we have had so many set backs and heart ache over the last almost 4 years and now over a year with being certified too! This is always what we want to be parents and to adopt as well! To get what we have dreamt  about for so long a beautiful family, healthy beautiful children!
Like I explained in the last post a bit, it is going to go in stages. We will have hearings and court dates and Sissy will be adopted first! It is a real bummer we will not get to adopt the girls together but that is how it goes! We will have to wait it out for 6 mo and see what her dad does, we really feel he will not prove himself fit we really don't think he can pull that off, not with his history but we will have to wait, it will be a very scary 6 mo for our little Baby girl and us!
Like I said in the last post too, daughters, I can't believe it, daughters!!! It is amazing how much Sissy girl looks like her "Me" too! I know God you knew what you were doing, you wanted us to wait, you had these girls saved for us, I know it now!:))))

Finally Some Exciting News

Well we received some exciting news today that we have been waiting to hear! We ARE the chosen family that will get to adopt the girls once they have officially gone to adoption!!! (They have been referred to Adoption already) This is so exciting, they will not be looking for another family or a county family, they have ruled that out. They feel for all the same reasons that we wanted them to, that it is best for them to stay with us. Amen to answered prayers, this is such a wonderful thing for them and for us! We were so scared at what the county was going to do but we are so relieved they see what is the best for the girls.
We are still going through the process and it will get a little complicated and tricky too, next month will determine a lot more, specially on Baby girls birth Father's end. As far as their birth mother it is pretty much done for her, is the status I was told today, she has pretty much burned her bridges and is done. Unfortunately it looks as though these girls will be adopted out at different times due to two different dads so we may get Sissy first and then have to wait on Baby girl! It is complicated of course!
 But we move on and we keep chugging a long and nothing is final until it is final but we have a really great and an amazing thing that could be going on here! Two daughters, never would have thought my life my end up like this, wow, crazy!! I always wanted sons, haha! My husband is so out numbered, all he has is the cat now!
Keep the prayers coming for us and the girls please, we feel them and prayers are getting answered, it is wonderful! Please pray for baby girl and the situation with her and the birth father, we might have some bumps along the way and will need prayers!!! I feel that in the end though God knows where these girls belong! :)))

Moving Forward Finally!

I got the experience of going to my first court day as a Foster Parent today! I got to witness a trial actually, it was interesting at the least! We had to wait from 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. to get called in, even had a break for lunch for an hour in there too, it was such a long wait to go in for basically 30 min! Gosh! Thank goodness I/we have the best Social Worker around and she was by my side the whole time because there are some sketchy people around that place, man oh man! :(~
Not only that but at one point poor her and I where in between birth father to baby girl and birth mother to both of the girls and there is major issues between the two, it was an awkward moment I would say! LOL
We also had to endure their birth mother for most of the day as well, as she jibber jabbered to us non stop, haha, I am around this woman a lot so I can laugh about this, I have really gotten to know a lot about this woman, man oh man, too much I would say, wow! She and I are very civil and I sure hope it stays that way, I do believe she loves her daughters a lot but she is a true mess and she loves her drugs way more and cannot get clean and healthy! She knows her girls are safe and loved and I enforce that to her all the time!
Baby girl's birth father is an interesting guy, in a very sketchy way I will say, was not to happy to have to meet him but I will have to be seeing him for visits now so it had to happen at some point! These birth parents need to get help, they are a mess and have a long history of drugs, domestic violence and criminal backgrounds, it is really sad! Thank goodness right now all 3 girls are in safe, happy and loving homes and lets hope it stays that way!
Todays court was to finally get passed  the birth parents and why their kids were removed or placed in care! Had to go to trial over this but at least we can move forward now, judge said charges were reasonable and for the right reasons and we now move forward to the Deposition next month, this will actually give a sentence on what they feel should happen with the girls, we are praying of course "Adoption"! It's already been referred so lets keep going in that direction, yes! The chances of these birth parents ever getting their acts together, getting jobs, getting clean and staying clean or even having decent homes to love and provided for their babies, is very rare!
I could not wait to get home to the girls today, I felt as if I was at work all day, I missed them lots, specially poor Sissy being sick! :(
Today also marks 8 weeks we have had the girls! As the weeks go by and months add on it is only in our favor and so very positive for us! :0)))

Exciting Times to Watch these Girls Grow

I just had to document this down for sure, Baby is FINALLY getting her teeth! Yay, I am so excited a day shy of turning 10 months old her first tooth has broke through! She is actually getting both her bottom teeth I noticed but only one has come through so far, the other is right there, oh man! She is going to look so cute with two little bottom teethers!
Sissy is getting her eye teeth too, she is now getting both her top and bottom eye teeth, crazy all four, it is amazing once these girls started thriving what amazing changes and growth these girls go through. She is two and does not even have all her baby teeth, crazy but they are coming and I have two babies teething, man that might explain a few things, haha!
I am so proud and happy to be apart of these big milestones and changes in these girls.
Now lets see if we can get through our crazy busy week and I am sure it will be emotionally trying, there is some not so fun stuff we will have to be doing! :(

What a week!

Man what a week! I love these girls and my role as their Mama right now but man oh man, this job is so tough sometimes! Of course any parent knows how tough it is but also being that they are Foster children and what all else we have to deal with! As I chose to close my daycare after 4 years about a week ago, it has just been proven to me how crazy things are going to be around here with out even having this second job too! In the last week I have received a phone call from someone about the girls to set up an assessment, a visit, an appointment of some sort for like almost every day of the week here on out for this month! Oh my things are nuts, I sure hope my head stays on! I love the days it is just me and the girls at home sticking to our good ol schedule getting things done, like laundry and the normal simple things in life! When we have to have a bunch of appointments, running around, visits and assessments or people around it seems to really throw things off big time! The girls do so well and are so happy when they stick to their routine, their naps and meal times, oh it makes life so much easier! And the days we go to see birth Mom are just a mess, we have had ok ones and even better times but poor Sissy girl, it is rough on her, so confusing, she doesn't understand, she is 2! It doesn't seem to bother the baby much, except she gets off on her naps and meals and that is enough to make her cranky!
Sissy has been through so much in the last week, had her teeth worked on and had to go back to that eye specialist in Bakersfield, if I were a kid, I would be freaked out by that place! She is a trooper but does not like certain things there of course, it is always a trying time! This little girl should not have to be going through all of this, it breaks my heart but then on the other end I/we have to deal with the poor thing and her moods or tantrums now! She has been really acting out, I know this is due to what is going on in her life but it is tough even for us to deal with, plus it is new too! :( She has so much going on in her little life right now and she is such an adorable, loving little precious, I sure hope things can get better for her soon but I am thinking it may be a lot longer as we go through this process, it is a long and drawn out process! :(
Well it is the weekend now and things always look up on a new day, I say good bye to this week and hello to a new day tomorrow and new week this next week! Good night! :)

7 weeks today!

It is amazing that 7 weeks have gone by to this day, can't believe that 7 weeks ago they came into our lives! Things were so different then, it is just crazy how far we have truly come! For one I never thought my summer would have been 6 weeks of caring for a new born baby boy and now 7 weeks of two beautiful little girls, it has been 13 weeks total and it is just so surreal! I have said so many times that being a Foster Mama is just a tough, tough, emotional but truly the best job, I love it, it makes me so happy and full of rewards and love!
I was sitting with our wonderful Social Worker/good friend last night and discussing how the first few weeks were with these girls and I feel like that was just so long ago, we have really come so far! These were neglected, damaged little girls, who needed so much and in just 7 weeks we are really doing so well, many things with these girls are just normal, child like ways, there is still a few scars and issues from the past but with just a healthy loving home , parents and environment they are young enough to make huge leaps and bounds, it is so awesome! Our Social Worker reminded me that I would tell her they just cry all the time, how will we ever get passed this? I remember she told me it could last for several weeks and I thought to myself, I can't do this, my husband thought and said to me many times, we can't do this, I can't take the crying! And when I say crying , the baby, it was not crying , it was screaming, all the time screaming! It was truly "the hell" weeks I will say!
Now being this week 7, wow the difference! They feel like they have been ours forever. They fit into our lives now like they were meant to, like they are the missing pieces! Our routine and schedule, they thrive on and need, the love, hugs and cuddles they soak up, the lessons taught are tough sometimes but they love and desire to learn so much! Last night while I kissed and hugged Sissy girl in her bed, she wrapped her little arms around my neck and squeezed so tight, we giggled and did kisses and when I went to pull away she would not let go, she held on so tight and kissed and cuddled me forever! I will never forget times like this, times like this are what make my life and my job as their Mama right now the best thing in the entire world!
We have many days where I am so tired, frustrated, mad, angry, emotional etc! But we also have the days that are just awesome and so happy and great and just plain fun! I know these are the ups and downs of Mother hood! :) Hearing the baby saying "Dada, Dada, Dada???" at the top of her little voice this morning as I lay in bed so sleepy not wanting to get up just made me lay there and smile, thank you lord for their little selves, thank you lord for placing them in our lives, thank you lord for getting us through the really, really tough times we thought we wouldn't and please guide us through the ones that I am sure are to come as well!
I can't wait to see where our lives take us now, as I finish up my last few weeks of the daycare I have run for the last 4 years and start this new chapter of being a full time Foster Mama to the girls, my life is devoted to them right now and I wouldn't want it any other way! I love you Sissy girl and Baby girl so very much!

Potty Training and Walking!

So today we are trying new things around here! Not as if these girls have not had so much progress since they have come to us but today we started officially potty training Sissy and Baby girl started standing on her own a bit and taking steps while holding our hands!
It has been so amazing to see these girls just thrive, grow and accomplish so much in a little over 6 weeks but to now whiteness the joys of potty training and walking, these are big milestones in two little girls lives!
I do not like potty training one bit, never have and who does, seriously but to see a kiddo learn to get it and go on their own is super exciting and a big huge step into a little child not a baby anymore, it's very big stuff! :) I will be so proud of her if she gets this soon! We have gone to panties now during the day at home(of course) and diapers at night time still! We will see how this goes, have had some accidents of course but also gone on the potty too, so we will keep plugging along, I know she will get it!
Baby girl is so big already, all though in reality she is so tiny in size, she thinks she is so big, heehee! She has been pulling up along the furniture since we have had her, she can move all around and she speed crawls like no one else! LOL But yesterday and now today she has stood on her own several times, so we started helping her take some steps while holding her hands, she could be walking very soon! She gets very excited doing this, she is such a doll and I love her little laugh! It is so awesome to be apart of these stages in their lives! :)
We had a very long day today, a visit with their birth Mom and not a lot of napping going on, so girls are down and I am so pooped out, it is rest time for me now too, one tired Foster Mama over here! But love my girlies and am so proud of them!

6 Weeks!!!

I wanted to start a new blog when we got Baby P and now the girls but we have been so crazy busy I have been updating you all in my Notes on FB! So I am going to give it a shot here, we will see how often I can update!
Well it has been 6 weeks already, we have had the girls, Sissy girl and Baby, now 2 years old and 9 months old for this long, crazy, it flew by like nothing! So, so much has happened in that 6 weeks, it feels on the other end of it like forever, in the best way, like they have been part of our lives forever! We have come so far from those first few days, it was so rough, we were not sure we would make it, we really did not think we would, it was bad! But we got through "Hell" week we called it and everyday it got better and better, these poor things, the trauma they went through being taken away, even though it should have happened long ago and it so had to happen too! They didn't understand what was going on!
These girls were neglected and to understand that and how far they have become you really would need to see things from our eyes and what remarkable progress they have made so far in just 6 weeks, it is amazing! We have worked so hard on just adjusting them to a "Normal" life, a loving, healthy, safe wonderful home and childhood! It didn't take them long to realize we will always be here for them, they can trust us and we WILL provide all for them! We will love them, comfort them and meet their needs always! It was interesting working with the Baby, she screamed all the time, all the time over and over, no tears, it was just terrible, and now guess what, none! She is a vocal little thing still but we have pretty much nipped that in the bud, we learned what she needed and we know now how to deal with her, as well as she knows we are here, she will not be left for hours on end to scream and cry! :( Breaks my heart!
Sissy girl has made such leaps and bounds through her progress! She loves to learn, she soaks it up! We have been really working on her speech, reading a lot, working on her words and trying to catch her up developmentally where she is a little bit behind! With the way we are going I think she is just going to strive to be such a bright girl! She is just so sweet, very loving and loves us so much, she loves to play, sing, dance, read books, learn, act silly, play in the water, loves her doggie Lucy and loves to act like me, haha, her Mama Missy!Uh oh! She is my mini me! She also loves her baby sister so much too and is very concerned when they are not together! I love this little girl so much!
Baby girl is just so adorable and I cannot help but hug and kiss her way too much, I think she even pushes me away now, heehee! She has come so far as well, she has grown and this is big, along with Sissy loosing 3 lbs Baby girl has gained several pounds too! Her hair has grown, her nails grow like weeds and she eats up a storm, this is so great because she is so small! She started babbling a few weeks ago and we have been really working on words with her too! To be able to hear her say "Mamma" and "Dadda" was so beautiful, to see her pick it up and learn is amazing! She is pretty smart for a 9 mo old I think, she understands so much already! We are working on eating more table foods right now, which she is all about, she wants what we are eating but she has no teeth yet, so we must go slow, I just have to blend up most things for her! She is learning to use her cup too, getting much better at it! And I really think she will be taking steps soon, she is moving and grooving this Baby girl, she is crazy, wants to be so big!
Being a Mama is so insane, it is the best thing in the whole world but it is the toughest job ever too! I sometimes don't even know how I will go on or get past something but some how I do! I am so honored though to be this for these girls, it is such a rewarding thing, the love we get back, the happiness, the hugs and kisses it is the absolute best thing in the world!
We have passed our mark as Foster Parents now, we have never gotten passed 6 weeks with kiddos before, so here is on to the next how many ever long weeks, months or even years, praying for forever!!!!
As you all have seen in many of my posts and comments going through this process is not easy, very stressful and emotional, we are waiting for more info to come on their case! Thank you for all of the prayers, always!