A nine to ten month process??!!

I wanted to share some of the feelings I have about getting this news over the last week. I honestly feel as though if a doctor told us we were expecting a baby(two babies) in nine to ten months, like if we just got that news and we were celebrating and telling all of our family and friends! Of course it is different but I have never felt this feeling and experienced this and this is the only thing I can compare it to because we are going to be parents and we did just find out and it very well could take nine to ten months to finalize everything! By the time we start our adoption process it could be the end of the year, although to me it has already begun. I already feel as though these are my daughters! It is weird, its like we are going backwards, most expecting parents find out the news and wait over nine months to meet their precious son or daughter, we got them first and then got the news and now have to wait for it to be legal, it's a crazy thing to go through. And although expecting parents to twins find out there is more than one, usually you get one at a time, not us, instant family to two daughters, heehee! Who would have thought!
I am so honored to be adopting these girls, I am so honored to talk with their birth Mom, which surprisingly is actually very civil, friendly and loving, and be talking about the future with her and a permanent situation. Their birth Mom has been through this before and knows the process, she knows she is done and she is actually already doing things before it is even time! She and I talk, we talk a lot and although I do not allow her to much personal info, she has told me she is really happy her girls are with us, she knows they will have a great life and a much better, healthier and safer life at that. She wrote her daughters letters to read when they are old enough to understand and they were beautiful, they made me cry. I think she honestly gets it, although I wish she would get herself together and quit having children, I would not have these girls if she would have not had them, so from now on I hope she stops, i thank her too for giving me these babies.
I will some day tell the girls about this journey and their birth Mom, I want them to know when they can understand how this all happened and worked out, of course I want to protect them from any pain or hurt but I will tell them and be as honest with them as I think should be. Their birth Mom truly loves them, this I know and I know she never meant to harm them but she loves her drugs more and can't get clean and out of this life style. I pray for her all the time and hope to God she gets herself clean because I fear that we may get a call that it was too late and she has done herself in for good, I fear this all the time.
I have saved the letters from their Mother and will be starting a box for each of them and placing things from her in them, these will be their special boxes, I want them to have this. I want their Mom to know too how much we wanted this and how amazing it feels to be taking care of and getting to adopt these angels. I want her to know we will always do our best to give them what ever they need, they are our number one priority and we will bend over backwards for them, no matter what it takes!
Their Mom has expressed some wants for them and although when they are our daughters it is up to us to do what we wish for them, I want her to know we will do things that we feel are best for them and us. She may not like it all but I want to be honest with her and tell her why. One big thing is we plan to change their names, I am sure she will not be happy about this but we plan to have some form of at least written contact with her, so she will know that we will be changing their names. I am going to explain this to her in the next few months and I hope and pray she can understand and be at peace with the decisions we make.
Changing their names is a huge deal to us, it makes them ours it gives them the new life we are all starting and we are picking names that we feel fit them and fit the family they are joining. It is a hard thing to do and I want to do this asap so they do not get too old to go through this. This is why we call them by their nicknames most of the time. We have two names in mind but they are not set in stone so we are still making that perfect decision. By the time we start the 6mo process we can start calling them by their new names, I can wait till that happens!
I can't believe how this is all going and I only pray for it continue on this way and this smoothly, with birth Mom and everything, it is just such a blessing!
On to the next nine to ten months, making plans, making big decisions and all the fun too! I can't wait to call them by their new names, I can't wait to re do their room, I can't wait to celebrate with all of our family and friends that these are our new daughters!!! I want to have the biggest party ever! :))))))