Update on the girls and our last few weeks!

I can't even remember the little things anymore, some days I am not sure my head is even attached! :)
So much going on, life is so busy and crazy, I wish I could just pause everything and take it all in because it is the amazing moments you want to freeze in time and soak it all up. I find my self going through so many emotions through out the weeks, even day to day. Some days I am so happy, filled with love, joy and just feel so blessed to be where we are. Some days I am just plain exhausted  and all I want is more sleep and thats all I can think about. Some days I am so anxious about what is going on with the girls and their case and I think is this just too good to be true and what is really going to happen, then the worry starts to take over me, "Please Lord don't ever take these precious babies from me." And some days I just want to break a way and get a Mommy break from the two little girlies that I love to death but where me out at the same time too, I want to play and do what ever I want and not have to be on Mom duty. It is a huge job to be a Mother, let a lone one of two girls that came from where they did and go through what they are going through and are 15 months apart. Would I ever want it different, no never, not in a heart beat, I love them so much and I know God saved them for us, I know he wanted them to be with us forever? It all makes sense now, we realize that and see what he wanted and where he wanted us. And I know he is teaching me so many lessons, Mother hood is all I ever wanted and it is and will be the toughest job I will ever have in my life. But the rewards that come with it is the highest paying job I will ever have as well, no money involved ever as the reward too.
My husband and I talked last night about how much our lives have changed in the last 3 1/2 months, that is when we got baby Phil then led into these girls and we said this is it, this is our family and we are not focused on that biological child that we so tried for for so many of the last years, we know that we were meant to have these girls and everything else is ok, we do not need to be parents to a biological child to have a family and be fulfilled in life, we were meant to adopt. We do not know what the future will bring but for now this is where we are and it feels so good. So many emotions going thru us right now, stress, excitement, just plain tired, nerves, scared and so much love, like I said before, no wonder things are so nuts. :)
I wanted to post about the girls too and give a little update on them:
Sissy-she is doing awesome, she is a 2 year old in so many ways, even though she has Developmental challenges and is behind, she is dealing with a lot of normal age appropriate behaviors too. It is always a challenge with a 2 year old around, funny great times and they are learning so much and then down right awful times when they are learning the hard things about life, that they "can't" do what they want all the time. We have many people coming around for this little gal right now and it is so awesome to have the support from the county and so many services for her. She has 3 eye conditions and is Developmentally challenged so we are working on Vision therapy, Occupational therapy and Speech therapy. I think with all of this and she has such a desire to learn she is going to be just fine. Along with all of this she and we can also receive family therapy and counseling for her and us to work with the emotional toll this is all having on her. It is so great and all helps so very much. She is my mini me I call her, I love her so much and she is my daughter already, I am so blessed to have her and prayed for this. Sissy also has lost weight, is wearing a size smaller in diapers and her clothes are fitting bigger. She as well has her other baby teeth finally coming in too.
Little Baby cakes is just cute as a button but the little sassiest thing man, she is so funny, doing so well, emotionally, developmentally, I mean she is just on top of it all. She is going to be just fine, she is so smart and doing great. She has gained 4lbs in two months and just might be 20lbs by her first b-day. She is teething and it is a huge challenge, I loathe teething, it is tough, I feel so bad for her pain but man rough for parents too. She is super active and into everything, she should be walking too very soon, she is a speed crawler now and stands on her own as well as moves around the house hanging onto everything. She keeps us on our toes that is for sure. She started to see her birth Dad for visits this week and I hate it, I hate leaving her, she cried on Friday and it just makes me sad mad and sad it even needs to happen. I pray we can get through this hard time all ok and soon too. I love this baby girl so much, she loves me and I know I am her Mama when all that comforts her is me, when she points to me and smiles when I come near her, I love it.
Both of these girls make me feel so good as their Mommy, to hear Sissy get excited and call us Mommy and Daddy, it is amazing, so great to hear after all these years and just really feel it too. I am thankful and feel blessed to be here in our lives, it is not easy and it is still a bumpy road we are on but I thank God for them everyday no matter how I feel. :)